Versions of Me

VERSIONS OF ME

One me

Two me
Red me
Blue me.

Old me
Twin me
Thin me
Back me.

This one is an avatar.
That one hides a fading scar.
Say! What a lot of mes there are.

Some are quiet, some are loud,
Some are lost inside a crowd.

Some are whole and some are barred,
All of them have come this far.

My poem based on the opening pages of the book One Fish, Two Fish by Dr. Seuss.

This piece is about all the different versions of me—the parts that show up loud and clear, the ones that hide away, and the ones stuck somewhere in between. It’s about how one person isn’t just one thing but a whole collection of selves, each with its own story, its own scars, its own ways of coping.

There’s something about how memory and identity loop around and overlap, and I wanted to capture that—how the past, present, and future selves all exist together, moving forward, no matter what. This work is a kind of quiet celebration of endurance, of coming this far.

Scroll for more info!

How this came about: I’m part of a group doing 52 weeks of self-portraits, and this week’s theme was “Favorite Book.” Usually, I loosely base my piece on the prompt or find a way to tie it into something I was already planning to create. But this week felt different. I had some older shots that technically could’ve worked, but I just wasn’t connecting with them. So instead, I decided to take the theme literally and recreate one of my favorite books.

BTS: The dress is actually blue, and the hair color on the green twins matches my real hair. Even though they’re labeled as "twins," the two green figures are not the same image. I based the orientation of each “me” on the original book cover — positioning them to match the direction of the fish. On the cover, the green fish have their eyes closed, so I chose to cover their faces with hair to echo that. The blue fish is standing in a different pose than the others, so I had that version of me turned away to show the contrast.

There are five unique versions of me in this piece, each created from individual self-portraits. I changed details like size, posture, hair color, and expression to reflect different aspects of myself — all the different "mes" I carry.

Artist Statement:

This piece explores the many versions of me—some loud, some hidden, some in-between. It’s about identity as layered and shifting, with each self holding its own story. Past and present overlap, and through it all, this work quietly honors the act of making it this far

Beneath the Surface

Beneath the Surface

"Man has only to sink beneath the surface and he is free.”— Jacques Yves Cousteau

This piece captures the feeling of being submerged inside your own thoughts, memories, or internal prison. A pause between remembering how to surface and choosing to stay hidden. A moment of waiting, resting, or simply disappearing inward.

This piece reflects on the self-constructed nature of emotional confinement. This internal space wasn’t imposed by others, but built over time from accumulated fears, doubts, and relentless overthinking. Once a form of protection, it has since become a quiet prison, familiar, but limiting.

BTS:

Yes this is very similar to a few of my other works. Sometimes its fun to work with elements from other works and see what new artwork I can come up with. I am finding that in 2025 I am realizing my voice, what I want my art to represent, so some things can be reworked to explore these new visions. And that is how this piece was born.

Check out: Deep Wandering, Net of Wonder, and Caged

Unburden

 Unburden

“To unburden yourself is not to lose yourself, but to uncover who you were before the weight.”
— Yung Pueblo

While this self portrait is very similar to the one, Release, I did a few weeks ago , I feel like that artwork was more lighthearted and about the general idea of release or letting go, while this one is more about the darker, heavier things we carry that burden us.

Art Statement:

Unburden confronts the heavier truths—those quiet, internal weights we carry for too long. It speaks to the shedding of shame, fear, expectations, and versions of the self that once served a purpose but now only tether. This work is not about letting go in a gentle sense, but about the difficult, necessary act of breaking away from what no longer belongs. It’s a return to what lies beneath the burden.

Backstory:

So I originally had a way different idea for this week, a piece I will finish for sure as there is nothing wrong with it, but honestly wasn't feeling that that piece was suppose to be this week, and kept putting off the editing for it. But then this idea came into my head this morning and I felt drawn to create it immediately. Even though it was similar to two others pieces I've created before, Im really working on learning to listen to ME and create what I feel needs to be created when it calls to be created.

Also check out Fly which is similar.

Unwanted Spotlight

Unwanted Spotlight

“The world loves to shine a spotlight, but never asks if you’re ready to be seen.”— Unknown

This week I worked on this piece in many different iterations. This was the third major version I did. Which sometimes happens with art. You think you know what it should look like, but it doesn't really work once you get the pieces altogether. Lots of trial and error with body posture and window size, how much light, etc.

So if you are ever working on a piece and it isn't working, keep trying different things! and who knows I may revisit this piece at later time and make a few more tweaks.

Ok about this: Basically, I wanted to create a piece that showed light isn't always welcome. That sometimes you don't want the spotlight or to be seen. I wanted the light to reflect that feeling of being overwhelming and uninvited, something she’s trying to disappear from, not embrace.

Statement about Unwanted Spotlight:

There are moments when light arrives uninvited, demanding presence and strength. Sometimes it shows up when you’re not ready, when it feels more like pressure than peace. This work is about that tension: the urge to stay hidden, to rest in the dark, to not have to explain or perform anything. It’s about the weight of being looked at when all you want is to disappear for a while. I wanted the light to reflect that feeling of being overwhelming and uninvited. More like an unwanted spotlight—something she’s trying to disappear from, not embrace.

©2025 Angela Marvel Fine Art

Award winning photographer, Angela Marvel, creates conceptual self-portraiture, exploring themes of isolation, identity, and emotional resilience, blending surreal storytelling with symbolic elements.
Please visit angelamarvel.com for more info. 

Heartstrings

 Heartstrings

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."— Blaise Pascal

Heartstrings reflects on the unseen emotions we carry, inviting the viewer to consider what holds us, what lingers, and what we choose to let remain. It’s about the ache of holding space for love, for memories, and for the versions of ourselves that we once imagined.

©2025 Angela Marvel Fine Art
Award winning photographer, Angela Marvel, creates conceptual self-portraiture, exploring themes of isolation, identity, and emotional resilience, blending surreal storytelling with symbolic elements.
Please visit angelamarvel.com for more info. 

Release

"Release"

“Sometimes, you don’t realize the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.” — Unknown

I took a break from creating pieces like this for the last three years. Earlier this year, I felt a strong pull to return to it. But like so many things, it’s easy to keep putting it off. I wanted to create something that captured the feeling of letting go—of the things I felt were holding me back from making art. In a way, this piece became my release, a way to give myself permission to create again.

What I love about it is that it doesn’t have to be just about art. It can be about letting go of anything—thoughts, fears, or memories that weigh a person down. As the “birds” take flight, I feel lighter, more whole. It’s a moment of surrender, of choosing to release what no longer serves me and making room for growth, healing, and peace.

But I also like to leave my pieces open-ended. Is she truly free, or is there still some lingering attachment? Are the birds a part of her—and if so, does she feel emptier without them? This piece invites the viewer to reflect on what they’re holding onto, and what it might mean to finally let those things go.

©2025 Angela Marvel Fine Art
Award winning photographer, Angela Marvel, creates conceptual self-portraiture, exploring themes of isolation, identity, and emotional resilience, blending surreal storytelling with symbolic elements.
Please visit angelamarvel.com for more info. 

Veiled Selves

 Veiled Selves

"You are only as visible as you choose to be." — Unknown

I look at this one as a way to symbolize the hidden aspects of self or the way we present ourselves to the world. Whether that is how we are different people tat times or how we present ourselves to be. 

©2025 Angela Marvel Fine Art
Award winning photographer, Angela Marvel, creates conceptual self-portraiture, exploring themes of isolation, identity, and emotional resilience, blending surreal storytelling with symbolic elements.
Please visit angelamarvel.com for more info. 

Unbroken

Unbroken

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly"

IM BACK!! I did take a little break but I want to get back to doing this as I sorely missed it!

This piece is about a sense of transformation and resilience. About embracing wounds and the ability to rise despite them. 

©2025 Angela Marvel Fine Art
Award winning photographer, Angela Marvel, creates conceptual self-portraiture, exploring themes of isolation, identity, and emotional resilience, blending surreal storytelling with symbolic elements.
Please visit angelamarvel.com for more info. 

Embrace

 Embrace

“Life happens. Adapt. Embrace change, and make the most of everything that comes your way.”— Nick Jonas

Embrace has become by motto for 2020 and was a great key word for this week's self portrait. 

Conflict

Conflict
"Life is too short to spend at war with yourself" 

Battle, conflict, strife, struggle....are just a few words that come to mind when looking at this image. We have all been our own worst enemy. Could be due to the pressure we put on ourselves. The high expectations we set. Or  our personality and personal struggles of who we are. Maybe you have two sides that conflict with each other, such as the desire to be the life of the party but the reality of being an introvert.

That was the idea behind this image. That we all struggle and fight with ourselves, whether it's something major or you don't even notice.  Often times those conflicts can be between the person we want to be and the person we are. Struggles between what you hoped and wished for your life versus reality.

Check out my Instagram highlight under shooting in fog to see how I shot this. It's a quick video but you will get the idea :)

Taphophobia

As you saw in my previous post, I have done lots of October themed portraits where I have dressed up as someone or been a character. If you search through my Facebook, Flickr or blog history you can find even more than what I posted. I even have more ideas. I have had the costumes and concepts for medusa, an exorcism with priest and silly ghost people for about 4 years now. I have a costume closet full of medieval attire and other character costumes I haven't shot. Some even my kids have outgrown before I did the photo. But it wasn't what interested me right now to create.  For this October I wanted to dive deeper into the concept of fear. Fear being something that gets associated during this time of year of costumes, scary decorations and tricks that are played.

Fear is often discussed in my photography groups. However, it's usually discussed in the context of being afraid to create art, or afraid to show your work to others. I don't have fears like that. It's not that I like rejection or that some rejection doesn't sting, but I don't have that fear of putting myself out there and then being told no. I  have submitted to so many "calls for art" in various ways since 2002 that maybe I have just because accustom to getting those rejection emails. However, I've also been really successful. I've been in magazines, exhibitions and won awards. If I didn't put myself out there in the first place, I'd never get a good call/email. Yes it stings when you really think your photo would work well for a call and then you get the "sorry to inform you" email. Or you spend hours on something that someone else doesn't care for. I've learned that if I create for myself and am happy with my finished product then it doesn't matter as much if others love my work.

But yes I want others to like my work too :)

So back to fear.....I wanted to approach fear a little different. I wanted to tap into what non photography/personal fears there are in the world and then create based on that. This is going to be an ongoing series for me as I explore this concept more. And with many fears in the world, I have lots of subject matter to explore :) I do not plan to explore fears of anxiety or self doubt or other very personal fears. I want these images to be relatable to a wider audience, and they will cover what everyone knows as a fear. I want the viewer of this series to already understand the concept and appreciate the images without having to personally have that fear themselves.

So first in my Phobia Series is:

BURIED ALIVE 

Or otherwise known as:

Taphophobia

Taphophobia is the irrational fear of being buried alive. It is closely related to other phobias such as: fear of death (Thanatophobia), fear of tombstones (Placophobia), and fear of tight and enclosed spaces (Claustrophobia*). 

When I take a self portrait, whether its a silly photo of me as a cartoon character or something like this, I always try to go fully "into character". I think of my self portraits as acting. If I don't believe it, its not believable to the viewer. When I did my 52 week family self portraits, I would say this every week to my family. They had to become whatever character I was asking them to be. So yes, for this group of photos I had to get into character of being buried alive. I must admit, it was pretty exhausting. When you do something that is heaver like this, it can drain you, as if you really experienced it. 

This first photo is the main image for this phobia. It's a woman in a glass coffin with dirt being thrown on top of her. In this image she fully knows what is happening and so does whoever is doing this to her. It's pretty scary to think about as it was no accident. It's being done purposefully and she knows there is no good outcome.

I already have an ongoing Ghost Series and a few of those images take place in cemeteries, so I didn't want to be redundant with doing something similar to what I have done before, but I wanted to include a gravesite. So I came up with a way to keep with this phobia and not replicate something I have already done. 

The silly take away from this photo is that is was VERY hard to get my hand/arm dirty with just dirt as I didn't want it to be mud. It amazes me that my kids can get dirty by being outside 30 seconds and I was trying to get dirty and it kept rubbing off. I had to rub dirt all over my arm after every take and still much of this "dirt" is photoshop.

Now I am going to share this, as its already been picked up by an agency, but its not 100% my favorite, and feels like I want to do more with it. I had a similar idea to do this with someone on top of the grass. I had it figured out, just the edit didn't quite go together. I still have it on a folder to work on and I will share that version if I get it done :) But I can see this image being presented in a few different ways, so it may be something I revisit at some point. But its the most clear cut Buried Alive of the three :)

And this last image will give you your behind the scene of how I shot it. I am really that close to the top, I did not lower the top to make me more confined. I climbed onto the bottom of our coffee table and put a brown blanket over the back to make it look like a box.

See I don't post in over 2 weeks and boom a long post with 3 images! Hope I made up for the absence while I finished football season and dove head first into busy portrait season :)

 *I totally see me exploring [claustrophobia] on it's own for this series.

Gravity

Gravity
"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so" -Wicked

Starting today this image is at the PSA International exhibit in Salt Lake City! Until October 6th :)

Just a few quick thoughts today as this was just a crazy one I did this summer. I had fun playing with the concept that each wall had its own gravity.

Enjoy!

Never Look Back

Never Look Back

This is one of my random images. I love the contemplation in this image. I wanted it to convey the urgency that she needed to get to the ladder and climb to safety. But once up there could whatever is following her, make it up the ladder too? Would she have to make the choice to continue to the other side of the tunnel?  With the birds in the sky I wanted to convey the tunnel was higher up on that side then what you see on this side. You, the viewer, can decide does she make it. Or maybe she is running to it? Maybe nothing is chasing her? Maybe she is running to this place, her safe spot :)

Wind Up

Wind-Up

Don't we all have times when our energy has run out and we need to be rewound? I know I do.  Fall is my busiest time of the year. School starting back up, cub scouts, football, and my portrait business, are all in full swing and I find myself staying up late, getting up early and somewhere in the middle trying to get it all done. I am like the Energizer Bunny during fall. I am constantly needing to be fully wound again and again until my stored energy is completely depleted.  Then once it's all over and my adrenaline of the season is gone (usually in January) and I find myself drained completely like a wind-up toy that is done and stopped.

This image would have been perfect to post in January, and I might post it again then. This is truly how I spend my January and February. I find that because I spend so much time going and going I take the much needed Winter break and stay stopped.

But for now, the hand is continually winding the crank and I continue on with my stored up energy :)

I wanted to post it now since I just finished it yesterday though ;)

This is similar to Recharge.

Reach

Reach
"My hands can only reach so far. Take my hand, and together we can reach so much further."

Reach captures the longing for connection, hope, and something beyond our grasp. The image speaks to the human desire for guidance, belonging, or something just out of reach.

I like to think of this photo as a mini story that might have many beginnings or endings. It's part of a new series I am creating where the viewer can determine the story.  Some of my images have a clear path and idea behind it. The viewer sees the same things in the photo as I do. But I wanted to create something different then a straight forwarded piece. I wanted to create some open ended images where each viewer could make some choices for themselves.

Take this photo. Why is the woman reaching out? Does she need help? Do the hands need help? Is she trying to get away? What would it be she is getting away from? Or maybe she has died and is reaching out to the afterlife. Makes you think!

One of the questions I get asked more than any other question is how I set my focus...so here is a behind the scene photo....My son standing in as me so I can set my focus. I then just took his spot :)

Trapped

Trapped

"I was never meant to be kept in a cage or anything that resembles one. I was never meant to be trapped or enslaved by anything including my fears or my addictions. I am not just meant to fly...I am meant to soar. I must remember to never let anything enslave me. My life is too important. I am a brave girl. I was born to fly free." - Bravegirls Club

The above quote really sums up this piece perfectly. I found the quote after I finished editing this, however, I really think it explains what this piece means. I like to think it shows hope. That although we may be struggling, stuck, or trapped, that there is always hope or a way out. Keep pushing through and never give up. Keep looking forward. Don't accepted your stuck situation.

A little background:

I've had this concept written down for a few months now; woman in cage reaching for key. But I couldn't find the right cage for the look I wanted, so my idea just sat on paper. In April, I was in an antique store and saw this really cool heart cage. It was perfect! But of course it didn't have a price tag on it (that always seems to happen to me) so I walked away as the store was busy. I came back to it twice wondering if it would work or not and double checking that I didn't miss the price somewhere. Finally, I realized it would be too perfect and had to find out the price.  To my delight it was only $7! :) Once I had this piece, everything for this concept fell into place.

Pit of Despair

Pit of Despair

"For happiness one needs security, but joy can spring like a flower even from the cliffs of despair". Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Almost all my images are composites in one way or another. I find it helps expand my creativity to be able to piece things together to create the world, location, or character I saw in my vision without limitations of having to always find the perfect place, at the perfect time. But I use to only photograph myself in actual locations, never compositing myself into a setting. If you saw me in a field, I was always actually in that field. I felt it was more authentic and I liked the challenge of finding locations that could work for that. However, it did become limiting to whatever was around me. I also could only shoot on days where I could go out to that field, wall, forest, etc or if the weather was perfect. It's still something I do more often than not, especially if possible, but I don't limit myself to it anymore.  

The image below is three images pieced together to create the overall art. One is myself, another is the flowers and the third is the cement "pit". Which is actually not a pit either. :)

Scroll past the image for more.

First, here is the photo of the flowers. This was the first image I took. I saw these little flowers outside of a restaurant and didn't know what I was going to use them for, but took lots of angles and put them aside.  I ended up using this frame because it had a blank spot I figured I could add myself to.

Then I took the photo of myself sitting on a stool. I made sure the camera was directly in front of me so it would appear as if also above me. And yup, just hung (badly) a piece of grey fabric over a shelf in my bedroom. Nothing fancy. And no I'm not naked lol

Then I put myself into the flowers, which was my final image for awhile:

Last, I took this shot while out at an old Fort. This was along a wall. But I centered myself on it so it could seem as I was looking down into it. 

Then I placed the flower shot with me into this cement box.

Sure there was lots of other editing. I made flowers larger. I had to blend flowers into the cement. But this gives you an idea of how an image like this is possible and how I put it together. 

Weight of the World

Weight of the World
"It's about the journey, not the destination"

Sometimes when I go out to a location to shoot a specific photo or series I will take additional shots that were not planned in hopes to get additional artwork. Sometimes when I go out to a location I can't even shoot the main image I wanted to, so I have to come up with something that was not planned.  The first type of scenario would be my image Burnt where I had a few extra minutes and did some extra shots of myself with the burnt trees. The second type would be this image below. No planning, no thought behind it, just an image that was done on the spot.

I had planned to photograph myself with the globe out on a field (which I still hope to do in the next few weeks), but things changed that day and I couldn't use the field as I thought I could. After driving 30 minutes to the location, I didn't want everything to be a waste, so I looked around to see if there was anything that could be interesting enough to use as a background. I had the globe, a barn and about 5 feet x 5 feet of space I could use and about 10 minutes to shoot something. Anything.

Most of the images I create are thought-out with sketches and/or a mini story behind them. It's not often that I shoot without much thought or on the fly. So its fun to challenge myself and take a photo that took less than 5 minutes to set up and was very quick to edit. I find these images help round out my work just as much as my thought-provoking planned images do. I've been trying to shoot more of these to branch out my creativity on the spot and plan to try to do this at least once a month. Here is the image for this month:

Caged

Caged

"It is the beautiful bird which gets caged" - Chinese Proverbs

This piece speaks to the paradox of confinement and freedom. The woman, trapped within the cage, suggests confinement—perhaps by societal norms, self-imposed barriers, or past wounds. The bird, free yet still lingering, challenges the idea of true freedom.

I have been wanting to do a piece like this for quite some time, but I never could find the right birdcage. I have been searching for birdcages for about two years now. Who knew there were so many different kinds of birdcages? I had purchased two other birdcages and tried a similar type image with one of them, but it never looked right or how I wanted it to look.  Finally earlier this year I found this PERFECT birdcage at a swamp meet type antique show. The minute I saw this birdcage I knew it was what I had been looking for and had to have it. 

Deep Wandering

Deep Wandering
"Sometimes we are lucky enough to know that our lives have been changed, to discard the old, embrace the new, and turn headlong down an immutable course." - Jacques Cousteau

Another in my underwater series. I've been having a lot of fun with this series. I love the idea that two worlds could collide; the world above and the world below.